Parenting is a tough job especially for newbies. But, it becomes bit tougher with your wife as the amount of emotional and physical changes during child birth are slightly overwhelming. So as a man of the house, here there is the opportunity for you to take matter in your hands and be a doting father as well as supporting the wife.
1. Be Prepared:Since the couple conceives the child, usually the expectant mom takes up the role of reading and getting prepared about the journey that you as a couple are about to pursue. Usually woman tend to learn more about how to handle the newborn where as ignoring their own selves. So as a father and a life partner, you should be aware about the hormonal changes that your wife undergoes. You can handle the paranoid wife better with this knowledge. Learning about other things regarding the handling of new born will be an added advantage.
2. Discuss your expectations:
As a couple, before starting the new journey of parenthood, you should discuss what each one expects from the other. This way there will be no communication gaps as well as one will be clear about their role post child-birth. If the plans don’t workout feel free to communicate the changed expectations to your partner. After all you are on this journey together. As per the saying, “Conflict arises amongst couples when your roles are unclear” you should try your maximum that there aren’t any grey regions in your communication. Moreover, its always a great idea to be involved in decision making related to child since the beginning. In this way, your wife won’t be lonely and will not be super anxious.
3. Be prepared for morning calls
A new born wakes up multiple times during the night to feed itself. Being up at night makes the mother tired and cranky. As a father you can sleep peacefully at night but also let the mummy sleep till the baby is asleep. You can wakeup early and take up the charge at home so that the new mommy gets the needful rest.
4. Don’t be Judgmental
Being a new mother is taxing. There is sudden lot of changes in the life of the mother so one can avoid much pain by being non-judgmental. The new mother breast feeds, takes care of the baby, has the blasting hormones, dealing with pain of stitches, unable to have self love looking at themselves, constant pressure of being a perfect or a good mother as well as sometimes having insecurities of loosing the love of their life. Amidst number of such things, it would be better if as a dad you don’t pass judgments on each and every activity she does. Even she is learning it for the first time.
5. Share the load
Try to pick up responsibility of some easy monotonous tasks like sterilizing the bottles, pacifiers and nipples, folding the laundry, sack back the washed utensils or any such few tasks which doesn’t require much expertise but gives her some free time to herself.
6. Surprise her
Before being parents, you were a true couple immensely in love so never let that spark go off. Spending quality time is equally important as taking care of the baby. Make a coffee and surprise her, sit with her and have romantic conversations while baby is asleep. This will keep the couple bound with each other even during the tough times.
7. Soothe the baby
Mom and the baby share a special bond but try to develop your own bond with the baby so that you can manage the child while the mother works. Be a child whisperer and try to handle the kid efficiently so that the mother gets the time.
Be a good listener and try to listen what your wife says. She might be super stressed or may be depressed but hear her out. Be a tough shoulder where your wife can lean on. Don’t try to ignore her talks as babbling or the emotional outburst. Hear her out and do the needful.
9. Embrace your new life
Reading this you might feel that it is very much woman centrist article and what about the miseries of the new father. I get you and understand you as well. But men and women both need to embrace the new life of parenthood. But women needs more care during this as she undergoes physical and emotional turmoil. Men is in a much better condition to understand during this time as he has not hormones working on him. This is nothing to take away from the tough life of the men too but we expect for man to understand as he can think with sane mind. The initial one year is a tough period but this shall pass too.
All in all it is a journey of you as a couple who are under the evolution of becoming parents. Support each other during this tough times and you will enjoy its fruit for the lifetime.