Hello folks, Hope you guys are doing fine! So today, I am going to talk about the family in my neighborhood. So the family had three members:Mom Riya, Dad Rohan and son Adi. Riya and Rohan work in a multinational company. Adi studies in a convent school. They have a maid for whole day to take care of Adi. All three of them share a wonderful bond and spend quality time together. Riya comes early at home compared to Rohan. Adi, being a kid sometimes used to disobey his mom. At this, Riya had a habit of telling him that “Let Papa come home”. When Rohan used to come home, she always used to complain about how Adi was disobeying her. She was sharing all her frustration to her husband.
Once it was a Saturday and Monday was Adi’s exam. Adi was behaving lazy and was not in mood to study. Even after telling him multiple times, Adi was avoiding it and was in no mood to study. At this Riya got frustrated and told Adi “Let Papa Come home”. As usual, that day also she complained Rohan about the same. Coincidentally, that day Rohan had tough day at work and on hearing Adi’s complains he lost his temper and decided to punish Adi. He kept him out of the house whole night due to anger. Adi kept on pleading him but he didn’t forgive him. Riya cried whole night but Rohan was in no mood to forgive Adi. This had a very negative effect on Adi.
This incident disturbed Adi a lot and unknowingly he started staying away from Rohan. Few days later Adi’s class teacher wrote a remark in his diary stating that Adi fought with a boy in class and punished him. Please meet the principal on Friday. Riya was very angry. She screamed at Adi and said “Let Papa come home”.
This made Adi’s heart sink. His mind was wandering, he started feeling restless and his palm became cold. He locked himself in his room and wrapped the bed sheet around him. Finally when Rohan returned from office, he was scared to no limits. Out of fear he even peed in his pants. He was scared of Rohan. After some time, on not finding Adi, Rohan asked Riya about him and she started complaining all what he had done. On listening this, Rohan told Riya that don’t threat Adi on his name as Adi had started maintaining distance from Him. He also assured Riya that both of them together will explain Adi and with that thought, they went to Adi’s room. They saw a horrifying scene there. They saw, Adi lying unconscious on floor. He was immediately taken to hospital and the results where more shocking. It said that a kid -‘Adi’ of hardly eight years old had a cardiac arrest.
This made me think of what led Adi to this. Was it depression or stress? On further analyzing I feel, it has more to do with the phrase: “Let papa come home”. This scared Adi to death.
So, sometimes as mother, you may feel helpless but never threat your child with the name of papa due to following reasons:
- The first is that you are surrendering all your power and transferring it to your spouse. When you say, wait till Papa comes, what you’re really saying is, I don’t have any power over you, but Papa who has power over both of us is coming home.
- The second mistake is setting a father as a bad or strict guy and that’s unfair. When father comes home, his first job shouldn’t be to complete all the unfinished business that mummy has left.
To avoid this, the way to say this is, “I think I have to talk to your father about this before I make any decisions. Please go to your room, we will talk later”. Be sure to highlight it. And Obviously, strictly limit the usage of this statement.
At the end note, I would like to say that It is not wrong to involve the father in an emotionally charged situation but please don’t make him a bad guy. This will threaten your kid. So rather than threatening your child with their other parent, present a combined front and stress the fact that you and your partner are making the decisions together.